Grieving and Moving Forward from Past Relational Disappointments


Ever been disappointed or heartbroken from a past relationship? I can almost bet most of us will say yes to this question.

Letting go of past disappointment in relationships is crucial to the health of current or future relationships, but it takes acknowledging disappointment and the pain that accompanies that and at times walking through the grief that comes from the death of a past relationship or the disappointment from unmet expectations.

Laying disappointment down at the feet of our loving Father is an important piece in life.  We have to give up our right to understand at times and just trust. Trust that He knows best and has what is best for us. Trust that people make mistakes, but He doesn’t. Trust that in the long run, all things will work out for our good. Trust that someone else hurting us doesn’t mean that is what He wanted because that goes against His nature. Trust that even though not everything that happens is His will, He is walking through each moment with us. We are never alone and He will turn things around in the long run for our best.

‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick, BUT a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.’ Proverbs 13:12

Romantic relationships can hold their own set of disappointments. Most of us have gone through a relationship that we were excited about but did not work out. Some have been treated wrongly in relationship. Others have disappointment surrounding the lack of a romantic connection with someone. Some have disappointment connected with the length of time they’ve been waiting for that special someone. The list of disappointments for some can go on and on.

What we do in these seasons or moments of disappointment is extremely important. We can choose to lay these disappointments at the feet of our loving Father, forgive the person who wronged us, forgive ourselves if needed and move forward. Or we can get stuck.

Sometimes there’s a process of grieving a loss in relationship. We need to be able to walk through the stages of grieving this loss as well as regain hope again to move forward in health.

It is important to feel the emotions associated with heartache or disappointment. Talk to God and friends about what happened. Allow God to bring you to a place of wholeness and health. This could take some time depending on the situation, but there is complete healing available for you from God.

Here are six questions to ask yourself with the Holy Spirit’s guidance to help walk through dealing with past disappointment:
1.  Have I forgiven and wished all the best to the last person I was with?
2.  Do I feel valuable enough to have a man win my heart as a woman? Or do I feel valuable enough to step out and pursue a woman as a man?
3.  Have I taken time to ‘feel’ the emotions of a break up?
4.  Are there any past disappointments I need to let go of?
5.  Do I feel hopeful about a future relationship?
6.  Do I believe there are amazing men or women out there for me to meet?
You are the leading lady or man of your own love story, partnered with a God who really does have the best for you. Allow Him to renew you in your hope for a lasting marriage relationship. Laying down disappointment is one of the best decisions you can make for your future spouse and your relationship with your Father. Be renewed today in the truth that the Father is partnered with you in love to fulfill your longing.

Wendee Mannon, Dating & Relationship Coach, CEO-OnDaySix, Wendee’s Bio

**Image courtesy of Sitting On Briefcase by Ambro

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