You are in your upper twenties, thirties or older, have a great job, attend church, even live in a place that is supposed to be teeming with amazing prospects, but you never meet anyone around your age you’d want to date. Where do you meet quality Christian men or women to date?
You live in a large city (possibly hundreds of thousands of people!), work long hours, attend a large church, attend work events and charity events, but you never meet anyone you want to date. Where do you meet quality Christian men or women to date?
You go to a really small church in a small town. You’re plugged in, serving, loving people and possibly leading in some capacity. You have a very small pool (or not even one fish!) of eligible single prospects of the opposite gender. Where do you meet quality Christian men or women to date?
You are smart, driven, following your dreams and ready for love. Everyone around you wonders why you’re still single. You want to get married, but where do you meet quality Christian men or women to date?
I’ve heard these scenarios over and over from both men and women.
I also live in a town with a ministry school of over 1000 people, many of whom are single. I still hear many complaints that it’s hard to meet amazing men and women, even though they are all around other like-minded singles!
What is going on in the single, Christian world?
There are times in our lives and situations where we can look around at our surroundings and the people we come into contact with and start to believe that we have no options and no hope for a lasting relationship. At times it can look bleak, and our experience has proven that.
The most vital place to start is what are we believing in this area?
Do we believe it is hard for us to meet quality prospects? Do we believe it is hard for us to connect with someone of interest? Do we believe that it’s hard for Christian singles to connect as a whole in the church? What we believe many times is what we live in and see.
What we believe right now in this area is really important. I believe it’s crucial for future generations. We need thriving, Christian marriages. We need connection between amazing single men and women that lead to powerful couples partnered with God!
This place of unbelief is where God started with me as I began to ask questions and move forward in my journey to meeting the man of my dreams. I had to admit, I was believing a lie. I was believing that is was hard for me to meet and connect with someone amazing that I’d want to marry because of my past experience. I had forgotten that the same God that raised Jesus from the dead also wanted to connect me with my spouse. I needed to change the way I thought about this area.
Do we believe God is big enough to connect us with someone amazing? Do we believe it’s actually easy for God to ‘hook’ us up? Do we believe it’s easy for us to meet the person of our dreams, fall in love and get married? Or more importantly, do we believe that God actually wants us to?
Here’s a whole blog on that subject. Please take a look at this if you are challenged at times in believing God for a marriage relationship. The one declaration I would encourage you to embrace if this is an area that challenges you is:
“It’s easy for me to meet the man (or woman) of my dreams, fall in love and get married.”
That’s my core belief for every person I coach and for every person reading this blog desiring marriage. I believe that this core belief in Christian singles and the church can change the course of history. History and statistics show that less people are getting married, both in the world and the church. God created marriage and said that it was good. You aren’t less of a person single, but if you desire it, God wants to fulfill that desire. You can thrive as a single person all while still desiring marriage.
Sometimes we also need to realize that God can’t steer a parked car.
There is a great tension between cultivating high level beliefs at the same time as taking action in this area.
I wish I could tell you that there is a weekly gathering of amazing, quality, single Christian men and women that meets in your city.
I can’t, but what I can tell you is that amazing men and women are all around you. The coffee shop, your church, at the grocery store, at OnDaySix, at another online dating site or any number of places you visit daily. We serve a God who is on the cutting edge of everything; He’s working in all these places and more to connect His children.
My incredible husband moved from Maui to California to pursue me and marry me. Really, God can connect anyone and there is no barrier that is too large for him. In fact, I’m pretty sure He doesn’t look at them as barriers, but we often do.
Are you a parked car who is desiring God to steer them? News flash: a parked car can’t be steered! That was a reality that I began to embrace when I was single. I’d like to encourage you to begin to move forward in this area, and God will begin to steer you. He can take these areas of belief combined with movement and use them to connect you with an amazing person. There are some practical pieces that we should put into play to meet someone.
So, how can you begin to move forward in this area so God can steer you into an amazing, fulfilling marriage relationship?
1) Begin to believe it’s easy for God to ‘hook’ you up.
2) Get into different social situations where you are open and inviting to the opposite gender.
3) Be open to being set up and voice that to a few close friends (married and unmarried).
4) Set up a couple of online dating profiles; one ’boutique’ style like OnDaySix that targets a niche group of singles; one larger online dating site like Match or Eharmony.
5) Go on dates when the opportunities present themselves.
Notice that it’s a great tension of what you believe combined with your actions. If these get out of balance, it can lead to frustration or hopelessness. Opportunities are all around you. Are you moving in a direction to come into contact with other amazing, like-minded men and women? If you came face to face with an incredible prospect, would you be sending out the right signals to connect with them?
We get to be the leading lady or man in our own life. We get to partner with a God who loves us more than anything and believes in us more than anyone we know. It’s really easy for Him to connect men and women and establish healthy, fulfilling marriage relationships.
Today is a great day to start believing that the opportunities around you to meet an amazing mate are there. You have a part to play. Everyone is at a different place in their journey. Begin to ask God and look at your life; where are you at in the process? What steps today can you take to give God something to work with in this area of your life?
Please comment, like or share this if you think it will be helpful to others you know!
I want to say a quick thank you to all who have been encouraging me as I share my heart and something I believe is so on the heart of God! Whether it’s been a like, a comment, a share or a private message; it is incredibly encouraging as I share this vulnerable part of my life in the hopes of releasing breakthrough and helping others come into their desire for marriage.
Wendee Mannon, CEO OnDaySix