Advice for Her

Many women wonder, “Is it okay for the woman to pursue the man?” In my opinion, I believe it is… to an extent. Whether you meet someone through a friend, at a party, your workplace, OR online, it doesn’t hugely change the roles of who is involved when meeting someone new. The reason why is simple, it still requires both parties to participate. Ladies, say you’re at a party with a friend and find an attractive guy you’re into. How would that guy even put you on his radar? Well, it might start with finding a way to introduce yourself, whether it’s “intentional” or “unintentional”. Perhaps you wind up at the hors d’oeuvres table at the same time as he walks over to it, or you rely on a friend to introduce you, or even simply go over and strike up a friendly conversation. We want women to know it is okay to give a guy some non-aggressive indications that you’re interested. This doesn’t mean you are expected to do all the work. I would even go so far as to say I believe most men feel it is their duty to pursue the lady. However, how can he pursue if he doesn’t yet know you exist? It’s not too different online. For him to notice you at OnDaySix all it may take is a wink, or a friendly message saying hello. Once a man knows who you are and that you exist, he can then step up to the plate to pursue or not pursue.

For the man’s role in the pursuit, this especially comes into play after the connection has been made and the real face-to-face dating begins. If it’s a long distance relationship that means it really gets defined the moment he starts calling you. You can make intentions known and reach out, but he has to show you that he’s interested and is moving towards you. The biggest mistake I see women make is not letting the guy do the work. This is a huge tell-tale sign of whether or not the guy is into you. This “decoder of men” is often left at the wayside but can be really helpful for the ladies to recognize his interest level. Because the bottom line is, if he really likes you, you’ll see the effort and attempts to get to know you better and to see you. If he doesn’t call and if he doesn’t ask you out for more dates, then most likely, “He’s just not that into you”.

I know women have a hard time with being patient and constantly wondering if he’s interested, why he hasn’t called yet, or over-analyzing what he’s up to. These are all common worries a woman faces when dating someone. However, try your best to lay back and rest easy ladies, if the man steps up you’ll have a good sign that he’s motivated to move closer to you. Being patient in dating is often difficult for women for several reasons. The main reason is that women let their walls down easily, asking themselves after the first date if he might be the one. You can judge your attraction to him and the level of comfort in conversation after the first date, but there’s no way in the world you know his heart or character well enough to make such an observation. Lastly, it generally takes longer for a man to trust. So while you may be ready to trust, he may just be starting to put his foot into the relationship’s water. So for ladies, the advice is this: take time to get to know him while keeping your heart guarded in measure. Do not let that guard down until he shows you who he is, his intentions with you and his feelings for you. It will always pay off for you in the end.

6 Replies to “Advice for Her”

  • Nina V.

    Wow, I totally agree with the last two paragraphs but not so much the first one. I’m not about taking a mans job away from him and if he doesn’t notice me on his own… I don’t really want to be with him because if he is listening for God to lead Him to “the right one” and he doesn’t notice me than either im not his right one or it’s not the right time and either way their will be heartache. I will be about my fathers business and continue to be findable but i’ll leave the pursuit to the guys, thanks.

  • David

    Good article. It’s nice when ladies are a little more intentional about letting a guy know they are interested or are open to his interest (applies more to real life than the online world, but it still applies there, too).

    Responding to guys’ attempts at initiation, even if the answer is, “Sorry, not interested!” (as opposed to not saying anything, which is basically blowing someone off) is a nice gesture that is appreciated. Being rejected early is better than being ignored completely! I wouldn’t bother responding to winks, though- only actual messages.

  • Matty

    I didn’t know where to find this info then kaoobm it was here.

  • Janessa

    Heck yeah bay-bee keep them comnig!

  • rc

    Glad to visit this blog, keep it going.

  • Kairon Williams

    Worthy information. This is truly very hard for the ladies at the very previous day
    for dating. The thoughts revolve around like, how the man will be or how much she will be cared and loved. Though all these things are time spending matter, but at the very first one should know very well his partner. If the match is perfect then everything will be all right. In this concern I may suggest you the name of Christians Online who had introduced my partner and offered me a happier life. I am very happy with their service.


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