Definition of a woe: a place of trouble, distress or sorrow. Has dating ever felt like a woe in your life? Have you felt the pain of a break up or a relationship that seemed to short circuit itself? Or could it be that you’ve never dated before and that has held its own sting of sorrow? If you’ve been single for longer than you would have liked, this can cause its own set of troubles; most of which are rooted in what we’re believing during that time–the feelings are still very real nonetheless. Events such as weddings, work parties and any other type of gathering which usually come with the expectation of a date, spouse or significant other can cause anxiety or distress for someone feeling the desire for a special someone. The feeling as you walk through the door at one of the above mentioned events can sometimes feel as though a loudspeaker went off as you entered obnoxiously stating “This person is still single”. Now, this is not at all how it appears to everyone else in the room, but it can sometimes feel this way if our single years seemed to have outlasted their expiration date. These would all fit under the definition of a dating woe.
For some reading this post, you are new to the dating world or possibly just the online dating world. For others, you have been around the dating mountain more than you’d like to admit, and for some of you, you’re re-entering the dating world post a break up or divorce. I’m a firm believer that for anyone that has felt like the dating or relationship process has been a place of trouble, distress or sorrow that God wants to partner with you to move from dating woe to wow. Definition of a wow: a sensational success!
My heart beats to see Godly men and women connect across the globe. My passion has brought me to partner with OnDaySix to encourage, believe in and champion you all through the dating process. As a dating and relationship coach, I’ve come across many single men and women who are incredible, intelligent, good looking, talented, following their dreams but still single into their mid to late 20’s, early 30’s or older. This was my story until I met my husband, Shane. I went through a process though in the years preceding; I can definitely assure you of that. Considering I turned 35 the day before I got married , I came to understand a piece of the world of Christian dating woes. I’m here to tell you–it’s never too late and if you desire a mate, God desires that you have one. Time to move from dating woe to wow: a sensational, successful relationship leading to marriage!
Christian dating is on the rise. There is a movement from the traditional courtship model to one that I believe empowers men and women to walk out the choice for a spouse with less pressure and more of the natural stages of a relationship in play. It is important to recognize the stages of a dating relationship and to learn to enjoy each stage. Dr. John Gray breaks the stages of a relationship before marriage into 5 parts: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and engagement. This was extremely helpful to me during my dating process, and I’ve seen it bring freedom to many that I’ve coached when they realize that each part of the relationship process has value no matter how unsettling it can feel. It is also important to allow the relationship to develop naturally through the stages, so that it can hold up to the test of time. I’ll unwrap these stages in a future blog, but just like anything else in life, the foundation helps to build the entire house, or relationship in this case. Too much pressure on a relationship in the beginning stages can cause the relational walls to topple over if they’re not rooted in a good foundation.
The foundation of your relationship is largely what you believe about yourself, God and the opposite gender. Practically, a relationship, in most cases, needs to lay a foundation that includes attraction and uncertainty which may or may not lead to exclusivity, intimacy and engagement. The uncertainty stage is actually probably more important than most people realize. A choice for a relationship is so much more valuable when its made with other options in play and questions being addressed instead of it being the only option in view. As you begin to understand and walk out these stages and how men and women process through them, the places that caused woes and worry will begin to make sense. I believe you will begin to understand the importance and empowerment you carry in each dating relationship. You’re not just waiting for someone to decide they want to be with you; you’re a valuable piece of the equation. You are empowered to be a part of the whole beautiful process, and that’s a wonderful realization.
Congratulations on sticking your foot or your entire being into the online dating world through OnDaySix! God is on the cutting edge, and He is using the online medium to connect people all over the world. Currently 1 in 3 relationships now begin online. Way to be a forerunner in the Christian world! You’re giving God something to work with in this area of your life.
So, if you find yourself single this July Day, be encouraged. There is always hope. It is never too late. If you desire marriage and a life partner, God desires this for you too. Keep your hopes up, keep moving forward, be open to His hand in this part of your life, and watch Him make your dreams come true. You’re closer than you think to love, and you’re closer to moving from dating woe to wow.
Tomorrow’s blog will focus on beliefs to cultivate while dating and some practicals involved in this, so keep an eye out and have a fabulous day!
Dating & Relationship Coach
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