We were created for deep, intimate affection and connection with the Father. For us to truly understand his heart, we need to go back to the beginning of the story of mankind. When we look at the Garden of Eden, we can see that God’s initial plan was to walk with us in deep, intimate affection and connection; also known as LOVE. Adam and Eve walked with him in the garden naked and with no shame, no fear separating them from Him. This was His heart; His plan, His aim. He wanted them to work their land, be fruitful, have deep intimate affection and connection with Him and with each other and to walk WITH Him in that connection with no end.
The plan was set in motion. Then the choice to disobey was made. This was the first occurrence of shame. What did it cause Adam and Eve to do?……………………HIDE IN FEAR.
God came to walk with them in the cool of the afternoon, and they had hidden from him in shame of their folly and their nakedness. Fear was introduced. Shame and fear bring us to a place of disconnection with God and each other.
Then, God set in motion the redemption of mankind. What was His aim? To restore deep, intimate affection and connection with us. The aim is the same. John 3:16…For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His only Son. He gave His only son, so we could become sons and daughters and be restored to that deep, intimate affection and connection with Him FOREVER.
The aim was and is deep, intimate affection and connection with the Father. He wants us to be unashamed and fearless before Him in whatever state we find ourselves. He wants to know us and for us to know Him with deep affection. Then everything else can flow out of this place, including relationship with others, dreams being fulfilled, marriage, you name it.
So, what’s the aim of a marriage relationship? To be with someone, have some kids and accomplish some great things for God along the way? To be with your soul mate? To be with someone who can change the world for God with you? To marry your best friend?
I would like to propose that the aim is none of these. The aim is simply to have deep, intimate affection and connection with your spouse. No shame or fear between two people. When we begin to isolate and hide in fear, we choose disconnection. The Bible likens marriage and two becoming one to Christ and His relationship with the church. Deep, intimate affection and connection with no shame or fear. Then all that other stuff starts to happen. We create families together, change our part of the world for God together, and on and on.
Once that connection is broken through shame or fear, things go awry. This is true in relationship with God and with others. It’s especially damaging in a marriage relationship.
We are on a journey to become shameless and fearless, and I believe the only way to walk this out is to come before the Father and allow Him into every part of us; then we can truly receive His deep, intimate affection for us as we learn to stay connected with Him. This will then translate out to our other relationships; including marriage.
On this journey to marriage, take time to aim for connection. Take time to be fully known by Him, becoming free of shame and fear. It’s His grace that empowers us through His Spirit to leave shame and fear behind and the actions that led us to that place and to be fully seen by Him. This sets us up to have a deep, intimate affection and connection with our future spouse.