Where’s my other half?
I remember thinking this question and possibly stating it at one time or another before I was married. I actually don’t think that’s necessarily a valid question to ask as a single person.
You’re enough. You’re complete in Christ. You’re not missing anything (2 Corinthians 5:17, Colossians 2:10).
Yes, your desire is valid for a spouse. And it is good to move towards a romantic relationship as well as desire to be married. But it is like many other dreams in your life, you’re complete right now as you are because you have all the fullness of Christ in you (1 John 4:17).
It is also good to desire marriage and move towards it. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it doesn’t mean that you are showing that you’re ungrateful to God or need anyone else to complete you. It’s just moving towards a dream in your heart. A dream that I believe God gave you. A dream that I believe God wants you to walk towards and to fulfill.
So, where’s my other half?
I remember when my dad told me to throw out every Hollywood romance movie that I had before I met my husband. He burst my bubble regarding Hollywood romance and kind of hurt my feelings, but he had a point. If you ever watched Jerry Maguire, Serendipity or many of the Hollywood romance movies (which I still love!), they would leave you feeling as though you’re incomplete until that one person shows up who “completes you”. The stars align and your life starts. Not exactly biblical.
My marriage relationship is very romantic, very practical, very intentional, very loving and very much about lots of small decisions that lead to a great relationship. From my viewpoint, the loving, fulfilling and lasting marriages that I’ve seen are a million and one tiny decisions towards connection with the person they chose. These create lasting romance and not so serendipitous marriages.
Definition of serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
I don’t believe God is about chance, but I’ll leave that piece up to you to decide. I believe He’s about a lot of choice.
I remember becoming very intentional in moving towards a marriage relationship and coming to grips with the fact that I was totally complete and amazing without a man in my life, but it was good for me to desire a husband, take actions towards my future husband and take time to think about how to become more intentional in this area. Just as I did when I went to college, went to ministry school, went forward in my career and started a design focused business.
We may ask questions of ourselves during the process of moving towards marriage, change the way we think and take actions towards this, but we have to understand that we can trust God’s timing for us. We can allow His hand to move in our lives while we move forward. We’re not late, He’s not late and we haven’t missed out on anything.
God talks about two becoming one in marriage. It’s a mystery like Christ and the church and how we become one with God when we accept Christ. He was completely complete without us, but He chose to be fused with us. Wow! We are complete with Him, but we choose to be fused with another person and become one through marriage. Wow!
What an amazing privilege. Christ in us fused and us in marriage fused. Today, I would feel incomplete without my husband around. He really completes me, but that happened when we married. What a beautiful mystery.
Be free in who you are to shine and radiate all that you are in Christ as a single person. This will attract an amazing spouse to you.
This is a tension that we hold as we move towards dreams and desires. Any dream or desire, including marriage. Being amazing and complete, desirable and worthy, ready and also moving forward. You are the leading lady or man in your own love story, partnered with God who can do exceedingly and abundantly beyond what you can hope or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
Wendee Mannon, CEO OnDaySix